Journeying through Cancer with the Support of my MCG
by: Hannah Murphy, MCG member, Lafayette, LA.
On August 8, 2024, I went, alone, to an appointment for what was supposed to be “just a cyst” and left a breast cancer patient. At 32 years old, with four children ranging from two to ten years of age, to say this diagnosis was a surprise would be an understatement. We were shocked and completely unprepared for what this season of life would ask of us. As I called my husband from the parking lot to deliver the news, then went on to tell my family and extended family throughout the evening, everything felt quite surreal. I was not immediately devastated, or immediately at peace; I think the most adequate word to describe how I felt would be numb. That didn’t last long, though. Things picked up pace quickly, and the life of a cancer patient began.
We went from test to test, and appointment to appointment, and it wasn’t long before I knew that this journey was not going to be possible without so much grace…and God delivered like He always does. Our church parish began a daily prayer chain for us, and probably for the first time in my life, I could truly feel the prayers being said for us. I felt surrounded by the Holy Spirit and so lifted up. While my own prayers at that time were pretty much empty stares at the crucifix, I felt closer to the Lord than I ever had. He was loving us so well through His faithful people, and it really was a beautiful thing to experience – a great gift.
In so many ways, people have been there for us through these last four months. We’ve had spiritual bouquets, cards, Masses said, money donated and of course, a constant influx of wonderful home-cooked meals, but some of the most memorable support has been from our beautiful MCG. They were some of the first people we called that evening of the diagnosis, and their responses soothed some of the chaos of the moment. Especially as I watched my husband try to process this news, I can’t express how meaningful it was when one of the other husbands called him that evening to just be there for him. After a year of being vulnerable with one another in our meetings, here was a truly ‘real’ moment for these couples to support us through…and they showed up! At our first meeting post-appointment, we split into husbands and wives to discuss the diagnosis, and I remember looking over and seeing all the men standing surrounding my husband as he shared with them, their hands on his shoulders. In a world where people seek solutions to a loneliness they can’t explain, I feel like we’ve stumbled upon the answer with MCGs. People need community. They need accountability. They need people who care – and we’re blessed to have found that all in our group.
My husband often says there would be no divorce if everyone was in a group like MCG, and I think he’s not far from the truth with that. When people are walking with you in your marriage, problems aren’t left to fester, and there’s no place to hide. We’ve had many lows since this medical journey began. It’s not easy raising four children while going through chemo - for the chemo patient or the spouse. Life is not normal, and we’re trying to figure out how to cope with that in our own (different) ways. Knowing there’s six other people rooting for us to get it right, to figure it out and live unified through this time, is such a blessing. It motivates us to get up, to try again, to seek reconciliation. And meetings are also a bright spot in an otherwise stressful time – we have fun together! Social events would probably not be on our radar during all of this, but we have default friend time each week without trying because of our MCG meetings, and that is so good for us. I don’t believe for a second that the timing of my diagnosis is accidental. Though God is allowing this suffering in our family, I know His hand is still on it all. Just like there’s a reason, we had a 2-year-old and not a baby when we received this news, there’s a reason we had almost a year with our group before it happened. We had time to form those relationships, to solidify them. It’s not a coincidence that two of the other women in our group have also been through cancer (yes, TWO!). God has been so good to us, even through the hardships.
I’ve been able to take prayer intentions into every round of chemo, and the WCI and all the marriages of each group have been on that list; I pray that it may be as meaningful to all couples that participate as it has been to us.
